My name is Bonnie, but that's boring so I make people call me Bon Bon! Now I sound like a hot latin dance! Oh, spicy! I blog over at The Life of Bon where I pretty make fun of 16 year old hood rats all day seeing that teaching English to high schoolers is my full time job. I love everything about my job except for one little thing.
I miss my friends.
(I'm wearing the bright red lipstick. Hey, go big or go home.)
So now tell me. What is the deal with making friends when you're married? Am I the only one who thinks it totally blows? All I want to do is pick up a couple of chicks to roll around two with and suddenly that seems impossible!
I have always been an outgoing person- surrounding myself with hordes and hordes of people. The more, the merrier in my book. In college I lived with my best friends. Our lives were constant cycles of prank wars, swapping boyfriends, borrowing clothes, and staying up late watching The Office while inhaling tubes of cookie dough.
My college besties have mostly scattered by this point. Two live in Arizona, one lives in New Mexico, one lives in California, and one lives in Colorado. A few live close to me in Utah, but one with plans to move to Connecticut in the spring. Sometimes I sit back and look at pictures of college and wonder, "How is it possible that that is already over?"
My bonds with my college friends are stronger than steel. But they ain't around anymore. So time to find someone new who will watch Bachelor and paint her toenails with me. But living just with Hubs and not in a college apartment complex, I don't even know how to go about meeting new girls. Girls I do meet, at church or school, I enjoy talking to, but seem a far cry from the besties I partied away my early twenties with. I have trouble connecting like I used to. Is it because now we have husbands who are our #1 priority, or is it because instead of ditching class to stalk boys on facebook we now have jobs we have to go to? What makes it more difficult to make friends after college?
Don't get me wrong. I love hanging with Hubs. Of all my friends, he's my favorite one I've ever had. But he's busy a lot. And even when he's not busy, we still have different interests. As much as I wish it were so, Hubs doesn't want to go shopping and get a pedicure with me. Nor does her care that Kate Middleton is preggers (EEK!). Also, I need more social interaction than Hubs does. I am an extrovert and get my energy by being around people. Hubs is an introvert and gets his energy by relaxing and being by himself. Meaning that if I stay in and watch movies all day on Saturday with Hubs I am going to explode my Bon energy all over everybody before the night is through. Friends for a girl like me are an absolute necessity.
The New York Times ran this article in July about making friends as an adult. It is fascinating to me. Are there more friends out there for me in this great big world, or is my friend count maxed out?
How do you make friends after college? And does having a significant other make it even more difficult? How about babies? Do they complicate friendships even further?!? You better believe that when I have babies I'm going to use those bad boys as tools to make more friends. "Hey! You have a baby?!? I have a baby!!! Let's go to the mall together!"
Anybody who has made tons of friends after college want to share your wisdom with us? Where do you make friends- especially if you are not working? And do you keep in touch with your friends from college and high school? My brother once told me that friendship is merely a matter of convenience- that friendships disintegrate as soon as it is not convenient anymore.
Please. Say it ain't so.