4.09.2014

stop settling

via


Recently a girl reached out to me about her long term relationship and some issues she was dealing with. I felt honored that she respected my thoughts enough to want my opinion on everything....and then it got me thinking. This wasn't the first time I have had this talk with other girls. Hey, I even went through this exact feeling in my last relationship. Its something that I know is VERY hard to admit, not just to others but to yourself....and I hope in writing this and being open about it everyone who may be experiencing the same thing can find solace in the fact that you're not alone.

I have always been in love with love. Falling in love, being in love. Its one of, if not- is the best feeling in the world. Its a certain feeling you only feel with a select few. When your whole body is filled with butterflies and your stomach is constantly tied in knots. When just the mere touch of their hand on your shoulder runs tingles up and down your spine. Just the thought of them makes your body feel warm and your face light up. All you can think about is them. It's like you're living in a dream.

Love can be the most exciting thing in the world. But it can also be the scariest thing in the world. Being that open and vulnerable with someone. Its terrifying. Especially if you have been hurt before in the past.

I've told you before how I stopped believing in love after my last serious relationship. I just didn't think it existed anymore. I use to believe in soul mates. I really did think there was that one person out there for you and some how God was going to bring that person into your life. But here's where things went off track for me.....I knew the guy in my last relationship wasn't the one I was suppose to be with, yet I stayed with him..& put up a happy front. Why I chose to stay as long as I did, is something I still deal with. I knew deep down inside he wasn't the one for me. He wasn't my soulmate. I wasn't even in love with him. Sure I loved him as a person, as my best friend but I didn't have any of those crazy out of control feelings you experience when you're really in love. I mean, I did at first. Maybe the first few months of our relationship but even then things started out really shitty and I think the feelings were more one sided on my part than him.

Now I know those crazy feelings you feel in the beginning do not last forever. I get that. But it had gotten to a point where I didn't even want to kiss him. I didn't even want him to hug me. It just felt wrong. That can't be love....to not even want to kiss. And here I was staying with him, doing everything for him and for our relationship. But why? Why was I so content on making this thing work, when I knew in my gut he wasn't the one. My gut would scream at me..."kelly! he's not the one! what are you doing?! this is wrong and you know it!"

But I chose to ignore it. I made the intentional choice to ignore what my gut was telling me. I would try to justify it with stupid excuses. I was a fucking idiot to say the least. I wasted so much time with someone who never should've had me to begin with.

I realized I was staying in this relationship because it was comfortable. It felt safe. I told myself I rather be with him than get hurt again.

What the fuck was I thinking?

When I really sat down and thought about why I was trying to make it work with this person I knew the answer behind it. I was scared of being single. I was scared of dating shitty guys again and getting hurt. I was scared of being alone. I was basically risking true love and happiness because I was a fucking pussy. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. So I stayed in a relationship way longer than I should've and wasted my time.

However, there is a happy ending as you know....one day it just clicked. That was it. I wasn't going to settle anymore. I wasn't going to try and make this so called "relationship" work. I didn't love this person. This person clearly didn't love me....and did not deserve me. I was done being scared. I wasn't going to let the single life scare me anymore. I realized that I rather be alone and happy then to settle.

So I ended it. I finally did it. It was actually one of the most freeing days in my life. I knew I made the right choice. Thats what happens when you listen to your gut. All of a sudden everything in the world seems right again. There isn't that one thing weighing you down anymore. You're free.

Im telling you this because I know some of you are in the same situation right now and I want you to listen to your gut. Don't settle for good when you can have great. You know the truth deep down. Don't push it aside like I did.

Now the single life as I have expressed many times before has been intense. Dating is harder than ever....& the first few months of being single were hard...BUT it was better than being with him. I never once regretted my decision. And now as it inches towards almost a year since its been over....i am ready to love again. Of course I'm scared shitless to put myself out there and to fall in love....but I have started believing in love again and that feels good. I've learned so much over this past year and I finally feel confident in myself that I won't be settling for anything short of the best. Its going to be scary and there will always be ups & downs...but as How I Met Your Mother said it -


Loves the best thing we do. 





 photo signature_zpsc196524e.png


17 comments:

Tori Baldridge said...

Amen amen amen! I agree with this whole heartedly. I'm in love with love, too, and its sad to know that so many people feel like they need to be in a relationship, any relationship, rather than be single. Find the right person, no matter how challenging it may seem. Preech sista :) xo

Crystal said...

Great read! LOVED THIS!

Andiepants said...

Thank you so much for sharing! It's true, first you have to love and trust yourself and then just let go of the bad. Otherwise, you won't let all of the good in!!

xoxo
Andie's Traveling Pants

Diana Cloudlet said...

Dear, I found your blog randomly and I’d like to say it’s fabulous! I really like your amazing photos & style! Everything is perfect!

would you like to follow each other?
will be happy if you'll find a minute to see my blog!

www.dianacloudlet.com

Wenhao Guo said...

cartier love bracelet
air max 90
karen millen sale
cheap oakley sunglasses
herve leger
stuart weitzman boots
insanity max 30
coach factory outlet
kate spade handbags
hermes outlet
timberland boots
louis vuitton outlet stores
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
burberry outlet online
new england patriots jerseys
kate spade outlet
moncler coats
oakley sunglasses
oakley vault
abercrombie
louis vuitton outlet online
lacoste shoes
air jordan 11
nike huarache
ray ban sunglasses
longchamp sale
ray ban
burberry outlet online
coach outlet canada
air max 2015
michael kors uk
links of london uk
coach outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
true religion sale
ray ban sunglasses
juicy couture outlet
nike air force 1
tory burch outlet
achang0725

Wenhao Guo said...

futbol baratas
new orleans saints
hermes belt for men
nike sneakers
cheap oakley sunglasses
ugg outlet store
louis vuitton outlet online
new york giants
hollister
baltimore ravens
designer handbags
los angeles clippers
moncler jackets
hermes outlet online
coach outlet online,coach purses,coach handbags,coach bags,coach handbags sale,coach handbags outlet
the north face jackets
tiffany jewellery
christian louboutin shoes
canada goose outlet
ray ban sunglasses
tods shoes
calvin klein,calvin klein outlet online,calvin klein wholesale,calvin klein shoes,calvin klein underwear,calvin klein coats,calvin klein handbags
nike air foamposite one,foamposite,foamposites,foamposite release 2015,foamposite sneakers,foamposites for sale,foamposite gold
ddddd1028

Dong Dong said...

20151109dongdong
cheap ugg boots
juicy couture
instyler max
ralph lauren uk
toms outlet
louis vuitton
cheap uggs on sale
gucci borse
michael kors outlet
cheap jordan shoes
adidas shoes uk
ray ban sunglasses
mont blanc pens
coach outlet store online
ghd straighteners
kate spade handbags
gucci outlet
michael kors handbags
cheap ugg boots
louis vuitton handbags
nike blazer
kate spade
toms outlet
longchamp handbags
coach factory outlet
north face
north face outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ugg boots
louis vuitton handbags
air jordan pas cher
true religion
toms wedges
jordan 6
coach factory outlet
coach outlet
true religion outlet
nike free runs
nike roshe run women
gucci outlet

John said...

uggs outlet
tods outlet
louis vuitton outlet
abercrombie
louis vuitton handbags
tiffany and co
michael kors outlet online
replica watches for sale
gucci shoes
kobe bryant shoes
jordan 11
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet
adidas originals
canada goose jackets
abercrombie and fitch
louboutin pas cher
ugg boots
louis vuitton bags
ugg australia
jordan concords
lebron 12
coach outlet online
lebron james shoes
jordan retro
canada goose outlet
michael kors outlet
uggs clearance sale outlet
ugg boots
louis vuitton
coach outlet
air max 90
20151207yuanyuan

Kartika dwi sari said...


Agen Judi Bola
Agen Judi
Agen Bola
Agen Bola Online
Agen casino Online
Agen SBOBET
Agen IBCBET
Prediksi Bola
Agen 338A
Agen Asia Poker77
Prediksi bola Saint Etienne vs AC Ajaccio
Prediksi bola Trelissac vs Lille
Prediksi bola Evian vs AS Monaco

方松腾 said...

TEN0326
babyliss flat iron
mulberry handbags
longchamp handbags
mulberry handbags
michael kors uk
mulberry handbags
hollister uk
tiffany jewellery
oakley sunglasses uk
fitflops uk
fitflops shoes
ralph lauren outlet
ralph lauren pas cher
tiffany and co
oakley sunglasses wholesale
hollister shirts
tiffany outlet
hollister shirts
coach outlet store
mulberry sale
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
hollister clothing
kate spade handbags
burberry outlet online
coach outlet online
true religion jeans
burberry outlet

dongdong said...

fitflops
air jordans
under armour shoes
coach outlet online
burberry outlet handbags
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors outlet
marc jacobs handbags
instyler max
toms shoes
michael kors outlet
puma shoes
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren uk
lululemon sale
hollister
kate spade outlet
canada goose jackets
fitflops clearance
fitflops outlet
louis vuitton borse
timberland boots
micahel kors
versace
toms shoes
ralph lauren outlet
louboutin pas cher
ray ban sunglass
lululemon outlet
michael kors outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
coach outlet
michael kors
cartier glasses
michael kors
nike air max
burberry outlet
michael kors outlet
20163.28wengdongdong

mmjiaxin said...

toms outlet
cheap true religion jeans
huaraches sale
chrome hearts online store
air jordan retro
http://www.huaracheshoes.uk
kobe basketball shoes
michael kors handbags clearance
michael kors handbags
toms outlet store
http://www.raybanglasses.in.net
michael kors outlet online
replica christian louboutin
http://www.christian-louboutin-outlet.uk
michael kors outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
http://www.airhuarache.uk
christian louboutin outlet
michael kors handbags,michael kors handbags outlet,michael kors purses outlet,cheap michael kors handbags,cheap michael kors purses
tiffany and co
gg

John said...

sac longchamp pliage
ralph lauren uk
louboutin outlet
valentino outlet
adidas supercolor
instyler max
nike air max 90
abercrombie and fitch
coach factory outlet
vans outlet
adidas superstar
louis vuitton outlet
pandora charms
coach factory outlet online
supra for sale
toms wedges
louis vuitton outlet online
fitflop uk
ray ban sunglasses
burberry outlet online
michael kors outlet stores
nike blazer
puma shoes
ray ban sunglasses
designer handbags
under armour outlet
ecco shoes
ghd flat iron
nike huarache
coach outlet
michael kors bags
michael kors outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet
babyliss flat iron
nike tn
yeezy boost 350 white
2016505yuanyuan

Zhenhong Bao said...

toms shoes
coach outlet online
adidas outlet store
cheap soccer jerseys
burberry outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
dior outlet
reebok trainers
rolex uk
oakley sunglasses
michael kors handbags wholesale
links of london
lululemon outlet online
ralph lauren polo
cheap nhl jerseys
nike air force 1
coach outlet store
oakley sunglasses
true religion outlet
ray ban sunglasses
fitflops outlet
chrome hearts outlet
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
prada outlet
fitflops sale clearance
tory burch outlet
chrome hearts outlet
true religion outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
coach outlet store
tiffany jewellery
20160524zhenhong

Unknown said...



الاول سيو افضل اشهار المواقع فى محركات البحث تعمل على تسويق المواقع وارشفتها باحدث وسائل السيو فهى تقوم بتهيئة المواقع لمحركات البحث لجلب الزوار والعملاء
ومن اقسام الاول سيو قسم الخدمات المنزليه مثل افضل شركة تنظيف شرق الرياض
وافضل شركة تنظيف شرق الرياض بالاضافة الى افضل شركة مكافحة حشرات شرق الرياض وتغطى خدماتها شرق وشمال الرياض فالاول افضل شركة مكافحة حشرات شرق الرياض تستخدم اقوى المبيدات الحشرية
واسعارها في متناول الجميع ومن الهام التاكد دائما من خلو منزلك من تسربات المياه حتى لا تتعرض لمشاكل مثل انهيار وتصدع المبانى الاول افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بشرق الرياض تستخدم اجهزه الكترونية اكشف التسرب بالذبذبات وتغطى كافة مناطق الرياض فهى افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه شرق الرياض

افضل شركة تنظيف كنب بالرياض

الاول شركة تخزين عفش بالرياض
توفر افضل المستودعات لتخزين الاثاث والعفش التى تتوفر بها كل عوامل الامن للحفاظ على الاثاث وتقوم بتغليف الاثاث قبل تخزينه للمحافظة عليها فالاول افضل شركات تخزين العفش بالرياض ونوفر سيارات لنقل الاثاث من اى مكان داخل المملكة .

بالاضافة الى خدمة نقل عفش بالرياض فنحن نمتلك اكبر اسطول نقل بالرياض يوفر لك افضل خدمة نقل اثاث بالرياض
بالاضافة الى ان اسعارها في متناول الجميع فهى فالاول شركة نقل عفش بالرياض رخصية بالمقارنة مع باقي الشركات بالرغم من جودة عملها ودقة المواعيد فهى تقوم بتغليف العفش للحفاظ عليه اثناء النقل وتقوم باستخدام سيارات مغطاه مخصصة لنقل العفش للحفاظ عليه من اضرار الشمس والامطار والاتربة فالاول افضل شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض وتغطى كافة مدن المملكة


وتوفر الاول عدة شراء اثاث مستعمل بالرياض لتغطية كافة الاتصالات وللمتابعة مع العميل اثناء نقل الاثاث المستعمل

xjd7410@gmail.com said...

michael kors handbags
toms shoes
coach outlet
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors handbags
toms shoes
retro jordans
louis vuitton outlet
fitflops
supra shoes
michael kors outlet
ray ban sunglasses
asics outlet
longchamp bags
kobe 11
lebron james shoes
tory burch outlet
jordan shoes
hollister clothing
nike sb
ray ban sunglasses
timberland outlet
christian louboutin outlet
ralph lauren
michael kors handbags
michael kors canada
nike sb
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton handbags
ray ban sunglasses
rolex watches
michael kors outlet
adidas yeezy
toms outlet
michael kors handbags
toms outlet
ray ban sunglasses
coach factory outlet
coach outlet store online
2016.7.16haungqin

dong dong23 said...

asics running shoes
louis vuitton outlet
ugg boots
canada goose outlet
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
hogan scarpe
nike outlet store
lebron james shoes
kate spade outlet
adidas yeezy
fitflops uk
cheap ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
nike nfl jerseys
ralph lauren
coach outlet store online
kate spade handbags
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet
michael kors purses
ugg outlet
coach factory outlet
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
canada goose outlet
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
christian louboutin sale
retro jordans
adidas shoes
coach outlet
true religion outlet
cheap jerseys
coach outlet
ugg canada
christian louboutin outlet
adidas originals
jordan concords
gucci outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
ugg canada
20168.24wengdongdong

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...