what happened to all the good men?


I was reading through my facebook feed the other day and came across an article a guy friend of mine had posted. It was about men so of course I was interested. Men are such interesting and honestly confusing creatures that anything involving how to figure them out I love to read. I mean lets be honest, men really are from mars.

The article didn't turn out to be a handbook on the minds of men but it was something that made me think....

Now I am not trying to bash men or anything when I say this but lets be real, men have changed and I don't mean for the best....#sorryguys

Sure, there are still those few truly genuine nice guys out there but lets be honest...they are a rare breed and hard to find.

SO it got me thinking...what has happened to all the men? Or should I just call them boys.

Really though, its like they stopped growing up and want to live in Neverland forever. They have stopped courting girls and even wanting relationships. It's all about getting drunk with their buddies, going to a bar, finding a girl, taking her home...hooking up and that's it for them. Sure when they drop you off they'll mutter those 3 words you long to hear "I'll call you" but you and I both know they're just words. They're not actually going to call you....that old saying 'why buy the milk when you get the cow for free' is D E A D on!

I heard a guy friend of mine say once that if he meets a girl who is in her late 20s he stays away because he knows all she wants is to get wifed up...like we're some kind of disease.....let me tell you when I heard him say that I flipped a bitch.

What the fuck is so wrong with us wanting to find a guy who we can spend our lives with. Why does that make us weird or should I say crazy? If I had a dollar for every time some guy referred to us as being crazy I would be a millionaire....because clearly wanting to get married and have children in our late 20s makes us crazy weirdos.

Now I know some of you are reading this thinking I'm crazy because sure you're married and you found that nice guy...good for you, really that's wonderful....but in my life with my group of friends and what I see and hear around me this is what were dealing with...so I'm sorry if I offend any of you married girls & your men...but then again read the tagline...this is a blog about fashion & the SINGLE LIFE...#readwithcaution

I swear I got asked out on more dates when I was in high school than I do now. I've realized over these past months that our culture has become accustom to this 'hookup' phenomenon and frankly I blame US.

Yes, that's right you heard me. I blame us. The girls. We are letting guys get away with doing the bare minimum. We aren't requiring them to do the work. To ask us out. We let them get away with the 'come over and lets watch a movie' "date"....and I put 'date' in quotes because really we allllll know that's code for come over and hookup....and hooking up is not dating.

We seem to be so desperate for any type of relationship with a guy that we'll take whatever we can get....and I'm sorry but that's just bullshit. We deserve so much more. I mean hello, who makes this world go around?

We have forgotten that guys do know how to ask a girl out on a date. I mean they have been programmed for it since jr. high when we were all in Cotillion and they had to ask us to dance. So they know what they're suppose to do but because we let them get away with the bare minimum of course they're going to do that.

What we are not realizing as women is that we have all the power. You want to meet a nice guy and have him take you out, then you need to require it.  No more of the late night hookups or the group hangs. If a guy wants to see you then he needs to be asking you out. If that doesn't work for him, then MOVE ON.

Guys will do what we let them do. So we need to start respecting ourselves more and realizing that we are amazing, wonderful creatures and anyone would be lucky to be with us. So stop accepting the bare minimum. Hold yourself up to a higher standard. Say no to hooking up. I promise in the end it will weed out all the assholes and save you from a lot more heartache.

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{Jessica} said...

Kelly, I am married, but am not offended by this at ALL. I think you are spot on! And I like that you weren't afraid to say what you thought. My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years (3 of those married). And I made him work for it. He courted me in every sense of the word. He took me on dates. He paid. He called. I was a challenge for him. And look what happened? We ended up married. If more women would respect themselves, and do like you said, and REQUIRE men to work harder, they would have no choice but to do so. Hopefully your single readers will take this to heart and hold their standards high!!!

Eesh said...

Oh no honey, you hit it right on the head. If more women would respect themselves, we wouldn't end up in the predicaments that we do.

Eesh | The Other Side of Paradise

Marie Annette said...


-marie from listeningratherthenspeaking!

can we swap ads?


Raven said...

Men have changed because women have degraded them and made them unimportant.


Love love love love love it.

Raven said...

Had to comment again after I read the post again….RIGHT ON. SO sharing this right now ;)

Kate said...

I completely agree with you!! Every word you wrote is so so true!

Elizabeth Dietz said...

Although I am married I agree with so much of what you said. I have a ton of single girlfriends & they def have all gone through their fair share of guys who don't treat them right. I think they do need to require them to be the gentlemen all guys are capable of.

DIANA said...

I've let guys do this to me my whole life no after being single yet again im hoping i will have learned from my mistakes. And yes Im 32 and single and want to get married and have kids so clearLy I'm CRAZY!!!!

Sasa Zoe said...

Love it:) <3

New on www.shallwesasa.com

Nancy said...

OMG!!!! I thought I was alone with this... I'm from Argentina and here is the same with guys. I'm 27 and single.
Love your blog, you now have a new follower!!

Cara said...

Amen sister. And this makes me sad. For obvious reasons. But you're right. The reason guys keep doing this and thinking it is ok is because they keep getting it.

Fashionisms said...

Thank you Kelly, this is really at the core of our society! It's a rough world out there for us girls, we have to stick to what we deserve, and that is a good man who will work for us because we are worth it :)


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