Avoiding Financial Stress In A Relationship: 7 Tips for Improved Finances


According to the American Institute of CPAs, 73% of married or cohabiting couples experience stress-related directly to their finances. Money is one of the leading causes of divorce in the US; 1 in 4 marriages that end in divorce in the US do so because of money.

Poor money management, debt, and tight budgets can impact your ability to have a healthy relationship, and neglecting to address your financial concerns, behaviors, and patterns can make your life harder than it needs to be and put undue strain on your relationship.

This is impacted even more by secrecy around spending, budgeting, and money habits both parties have that negatively impact your aptitude to make money, spend money, or pay your bills on time.

As a couple, you need to be on the same page as each other to enable you to have a deeper understanding of where you stand financially and to support each other in making good decisions.

If you don't want to be one of those couples that fall into the above statistics, then you need to address your finances as a couple. But how can you do this without it making things worse?

Be Honest

In the first instance, you need to be honest with yourself about your financial habits, current financial status, and what you expect of your partner or suspect your partner is doing regarding your money.

You cannot begin to make changes to how you approach your finances if you aren't being honest with yourself and others. So before you do anything else, make sure you are able to face up to what is happening and aren't covering anything up; everything needs to be put out in the open for all involved parties to know about.

Start Talking

Miscommunication around money happens because one or both parties choose not to disclose information to their partners. Once you have completed the above step, you need to make time for you both to sit down together and talk about everything concerning your finances.

This isn't going to be fun and will most likely be uncomfortable, but it is the only way you will find out where you both stand and what is going on, especially if you are sharing joint finances or are planning to in the future.

You need to discuss topics such as

  • Income
  • Debt
  • Savings
  • Spending
  • Credit scores
  • Financial plans
  • Financial attitudes
  • Knowledge

The more you know about where you both are and, are again, honest about everything, the easier it will be to get things moving in the right direction.

But these conversations shouldn't be a one-time thing; they need to be something you keep coming back to time and time again to ensure you're both still on the same page.

Tips for holding these conversations include

  • Stay calm - overreacting and getting angry isn't going to resolve anything. You need to stay calm and level-headed.

  • Take time - you need to allow time for you to have a conversation. Put it in your schedule and remove as many disruptions as possible so you can get stuck into the discussion.

  • See each other's viewpoint - avoid refusing to see other views than yours. Everyone is different and, as such, will have learned or picked up additional information and habits. Being open to learning more about how your partner approaches money and what they know about budgeting and finances can help you better understand how they act and vice versa.

  • Have goals in mind from the discussion - not numerical financial goals, simply goals for this discussion. Do you want your partner to admit to poor money habits and help them get things back on track? Do you want to move towards joint or separate finances? Or did you just need to understand your current financial position and where you stand right now? Knowing what you want to get from the discussion will help you to keep things on track.

Find Common Ground and Set Boundaries

If you both have different viewpoints or attitudes towards money, i.e., one of you is a staunch advocate for saving while the other wants to spend it because you can't take it with you when you die, then you need to find some common ground. Respecting each other's opinions and making decisions that appeal to both of you within reason can help you move forward and find what works for you as a couple that won't drive a wedge between you both and cause ongoing conflict.

However, you still need to have boundaries and limits in place so you know what you will and won't tolerate. Especially if you have or are looking at joint accounts, be clear on what you are willing to share, i.e., having a household account but keeping disposable income separate, and what you expect of each other.

Both of you need to be on the same page here regarding what your boundaries are so they can be respected in the future.

Set A Budget and Goals

Once you are clear on where you both stand and your financial status, you need to put a budget in place and set financial goals.

Your budget needs to include all of your significant expenses as a couple relating to your bills, such as

  • Rent/Mortgage

  • Utilities

  • Taxes

  • Groceries

  • Transport/travel/commuting

  • Insurances

  • Credit card repayments 

  • Loans and so on.

Look at all of your primary outgoings first, such as your rent and utilities, and then look at what is left over to help you create a budget for everything else.

Once you have your budget figured out and you know exactly what money you have left over, you can then make goals. Your financial goals can look like

  • Starting savings accounts

  • Paying off debts

  • Saving for retirement

  • Increasing your income

  • Reducing frivolous spending, etc

If, for example, one or both of you are carrying a lot of debt, you need to set goals to clear this debt and move towards a better financial position. This could be talking to creditors to see what your options are, starting side hustles such as selling teaching materials to generate additional income to pay off your debts, or reconfiguring what you owe to allow you to pay it faster. Set goals, put plans into action that you can follow through with, and give yourself a set time to achieve them.

Remember, you both need to be on the same page regarding your budget and goals, so you both stick to them and avoid creating additional conflict and upset by reneging on what you agreed to.

Financial Literacy

It can be a good idea to both learn more about financial literacy and even take it because you feel it's warranted. Financial literacy is being able to understand various financial skills and put them into practice.

It can help you to make smart money decisions and avoid making financial mistakes that will impact your life. This knowledge includes things like knowing how much to save, your ideal debt-to-income ratio and what that means for you, what favorable interest rates are, how your spending and credit habits impact your credit score, and what your credit score is made up of.

Achieving financial literacy means you can avoid making poor or uneducated money decisions and be confident that you know exactly what you are doing. For couples, this means that you both hold the same knowledge, and you each know the other one understands the impact of their financial decisions.

Share The Load

It's not a good idea for one person to take on all or the bulk of financial management or spending. The stress of managing the money in the relationship can cause cracks to appear and is unfair to the designated party.

Like your relationship, it dhould be a shared responsibility with both of you doing your part and working as a team.

However, before managing joint finances, you need to be confident managing your own finances first, or it could be a bad mistake. But if you've been confidently managing your own finances, then taking the next step to joint finances can help you strengthen your relationship.

Take It Slow

Don't rush into anything. Your finances won't miraculously change after one meeting or honest discussion. It will take time, perseverance, and commitment for both of you to improve your finances and ensure that you are not working together toward the same goal.

Start by proving you are able to manage your own finances and reach smaller goals, then work towards merging certain accounts and making more significant financial decisions, such as getting a joint mortgage or paying into a joint retirement fund to support your future.

If you don't want money to be the downfall of your relationship, then you need to face up to your situation, both good and bad, and be willing to talk through what you need to do as a couple to help you retain a healthy financial future and not develop bad habits that can impact your ability to prosper together.

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4 Reasons Women Should Propose to Men


Did you know in 97% of heterosexual married couples, the man proposes to the woman. This is a tradition as old as time, and one very few couples decide to go against. But have you ever thought why can’t a woman get down on one knee and ask her partner for his hand in marriage?

If you are keen to propose to your boyfriend, there is no reason you cannot. Attitudes to marriage and engagement have progressed a great deal, and female proposals are becoming increasingly common. If you can’t decide whether or not it is a good idea, here are a few reasons women should propose to men.

Challenging gender stereotypes

The idea that a man should propose to a woman dates back to some rather outdated and unpleasant traditions. It was originally held that marriage signified the passing of the woman as property from her father to her new husband. But feminism has completely eradicated this view in the Western world. Our idea of marriage is now one of equality. So if we can change the way we perceive marriage in this respect, why shouldn’t we challenge the tradition of a male proposal? By proposing to their male partner, a woman is helping to break down gender stereotypes and create a more equal society.

Changing attitudes

According to a 2015 survey, 70% of men would welcome their female partner proposing to them. Which goes to show that attitudes have changed a great deal in recent decades. Whereas in the past, a woman proposing might be viewed with surprise, or maybe even outrage, nowadays only the most ardent traditionalists would blink an eye.


The laws around marriage and divorce are constantly changing, and now it is thankfully possible in many countries for couples of any gender or sexuality to tie the knot. There is still a long way to go, but things are certainly moving in the right direction. Although there are plenty of bible verses about a husband’s role in marriage, a relationship doesn’t have to be composed of a man and a woman. As a society we are far more open-minded and accepting of the LGBTQ+ community, and rightly so. If two women can get married in the eyes of the law, it seems a little trivial to suggest that, in a heterosexual relationship, a man must propose to their female partner.

No need to wait

It may be that one member of the relationship is more keen to get married than the other. If you, as a woman, are wanting to tie the knot yet your partner is dragging his feet, why should you wait for them? It may be that they haven’t really considered the idea or are feeling nervous about proposing. Why not take the initiative and pop the question yourself? You can reach that important life milestone far quicker, and stop all this waiting around.

So what are you waiting for? There’s no need to hang around for your male partner to do all the work. We live in a new world where it’s perfectly normal and acceptable for a woman to propose.

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How Do You Know It's Time For A Divorce?

How do you know that it is time for a divorce? Divorce is never a happy occasion; especially when you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with the person that you married. But sometimes things come to an end, and sometimes it really is for the better. If you are in a situation right now where you’re not sure if it’s time for a divorce, then we’re here to help. In this article we’re going to be giving you some advice and some things to look out for. If you want to know more, read on.

You Love The Memories More Than The Person

If you love the memories that you have shared more than you love the person standing in front of you, then this is a good sign that it’s time to let go. You will always get to keep these memories, but that doesn’t mean that you have to hold onto the person that you shared them with. This doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be hard to say goodbye of course, but if you love the memories more, then something has gone wrong.

It might be the case that you have fallen out of love with your partner, perhaps through no fault of your own, but you have been trying to make it work for the sake of your past. This is only going to ruin your relationship further and push you both towards feeling negatively about each other. You can read more about this if you are interested here https://www.yourtango.com/.

There Is No More Trust

When trust is broken, it can be super hard to get back. We’re not saying that it’s impossible, but it depends on how many times the trust has been shattered. If it keeps happening, or if you can’t get past a previous incident, then there is no relationship here. You cannot be with someone that you cannot trust, as you will constantly be wondering if they are lying to you, or if they are doing something that they should not be doing. 

Trust takes a long time to earn and only seconds to smash to pieces, and it’s never quite the same. If you’re not willing to try and build the trust back up, it’s time to move on.

You’ve Both Stopped Trying


Something that might be the cause of your divorce is that you have both given up. When this happens and when both of you stop trying, there is nobody working toward a happier relationship. At least when one of you was fighting there was some love and hope still lingering. Divorce can be an incredibly hard thing to go through, especially if you have kids. However, there is no point in staying together if you don’t want to try anymore. 

Life is busy, everyone gets that. However, there are people who have been together for fifty years plus. If they are still happy and still working on their relationship then there is hope for you guys. If you have set your heart on a divorce then you will need to work out who is getting what and if it will be an amicable split. The last thing you want after deciding to split is a messy divorce, nobody needs that. You will need to find a divorce lawyer to help you solve everything, take a look at https://state48law.com/divorce-in-arizona/ for more information. 

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