sex talk

via

So I want to talk about a touchy, kinda personal subject but I think its something that needs to be discussed openly.

sex. 

It's everywhere. It's all everybody is doing & talking about. If you're not having sex, something is clearly wrong with you, right?


WRONG.

Before I go on though, let me start by saying I like sex as much as the next person but what i'm talking about is something different.

Lets go back to when you were a virgin. Holding onto your virginity was a big deal & not something you gave away so quickly. In my first serious relationship I was with my boyfriend for 8 months before I gave it away. I mean it could've been longer but nowadays thats like forever to some people.

I feel like after you lose it, it all goes downhill from there. You're not so quick to hold onto it for so long when you're in a new relationship. You kind of have the mentality of 'fuck it, i've already done it once'....and I did have that mentality for awhile. Giving away the milk for free. I've talked about it before, how the old saying 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free'...is true. Its so simple yet so hard to practice.

SO why do we feel like we have to give it up so easily? Now I know a lot of girls aren't like that & are pretty classy about it all, but I also know a lot of girls that give it up way too soon and they wonder why the guy starts to disappear after.

I understand what its like to get caught up in your emotions & the moment...been there done that too many times...but let me tell you this --- every relationship that started where I gave it up too quickly, never, ever, worked out. They either ended right away...& let me tell you that's a brutal feeling, or they lasted a few months....that in reality, was just a shitty game of cat & mouse.

Its frustrating & hard. Your heart takes a few beatings, thats for sure...but when things aren't working in my life and I keep getting the same result, I change it. Change can be tricky. Especially when you're so use to living a certain way. But I was tired of the same old shit, so I figured why not.

I decided that I wasn't going to be sexually intimate with anyone unless I was in a committed serious relationship. I talked about commitment the other day & how important it is to have one when you like someone...and as I reach the last year of my 20s I can't be fucking around anymore. I had some amazing times, but I also had some really hard times and I was done playing this game of cat & mouse.

We as women are such incredible creatures. We deserve everything we want. And feeling comfortable in your relationship & knowing he's not going to peace out on you when you give it up is something I know we all want. But in order to achieve that we have to be strong. We have to be able to say no and wait until we have that commitment before anyone gets to experience the amazingness of us. I know saying no can be hard but think about it this way, don't you want to be with the guy who respects you for saying no & willing to wait than the guy who gives you shit for it & makes you feel bad? I feel like by sticking to something so simple as saying no we can save ourselves from a lot more heartache & wasted time with someone who was not the one.

Its worth a try.

I feel like by sticking to something so simple as saying no we can save ourselves from a lot more heartache & wasted time with someone who was not the one.

And while you wait for the right person, you can take the time to address some things about you that affect your self-esteem when it comes to dating. A lack of self-esteem can cause you to accept the wrong people in your life - people who don't deserve you. So improve yourself. For example, if you have weight issues, take proactive steps to be fit. If you don't like how you look and feel down there, consider medical treatments like vaginal labiaplasty. When the right person comes, you'll be in a better place in terms of appearance, confidence, self-esteem, name them.