worth the wait.


In my last post I touched on sex and waiting until you're in a serious relationship to have it....& I had a friend ask me a question in regards to the post. She wanted to know that when put in that situation when things start to get all hot and steamy whats my reason?

My reaction was what do you mean whats my reason? You need to have a reason as to why you don't want to give your body to someone you're not sure about? It got to me because I feel like we as women feel the need to explain ourselves about something that doesn't really need explaining.

Let me explain.

Its one thing to be honest with your partner and let them know whats going on, but what I am referring to is that guy you've been hooking up with for a few weeks, that really hasn't even acknowledged what you are to him. That guy. We have all been 'with' that guy. I put 'with' in quotes because you and I both know you're not sure if you're officially with him or if you're just a hookup. Its that guy who always plays the 'why not' card. Who just assumes that after a few fun drunken hookups you're going to go all the way with him....& what I am trying to say is you don't have to explain and feel bad for what you're feeling.

Think about it girls, its like we feel bad for not being ready. Its like we're scared that they're going to get mad and leave us.......re-read what I just said - "we're scared that they're going to get mad and leave us"....does that really sound like the person we should be sleeping with? If a guy that you're interested in, that you have been hooking up with doesn't understand why you're not ready to sleep with him , he is not the guy you should be with. If he truly did want to be with you, he would be willing to wait because he knows that

You know I use to think guys like that didn't exist anymore. Guys that respected girls and weren't just after getting laid. When my mom would preach to me about it, I would roll my eyes and tell her that if those guys did exist they weren't living around me. I think I used to use that as an excuse as to why I would give it away so easily. Tell myself that everybody's doing it. Im never going to find and keep someone if I don't.

Stupid. So stupid. Because that wasn't true. It isn't true.

Those guys do exist we just have to wait to find them. We have to stop settling for what we have and wait until we get the real thing. I stopped believing in love after my huge breakup a year ago. I stopped believing in the real thing....but I realized if I truly wanted the real thing I had to work for it. And that meant having respect for myself and realizing that I am worth the wait.

We're all worth the wait.

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Nicole said...

I have loved reading these two posts Kelly...we ARE worth the wait. Any gentleman who knows that, will stick around because you ARE worth it. All the other jerks can just be kicked to the curb. I applaud you for choosing that instead of giving it away so freely. Proud of you girl!

Chelsea Oliver said...

A-freakin-MEN. Preach, sister. I love that you're putting your views on sex out there and making no apologizes for it. If the roles were reversed and the guy said he wasn't ready yet, we'd be all "how great, he's sensitive and doesn't want to pressure me." But you're right, we as women always feel the need to apologize for not being ready. That's garbage.


Kristie's Blue Jeans said...

I completely agree with you. Sure we all get caught up in the moment, but if it is important to us, no matter what we feel we can say "no". Any good guy will understand and if they don't they aren't that good of a guy to begin with.

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

SO good. If you don't believe this about yourself, how do you expect anyone else to?

Ashley said...

Yep, we have all been "with" "that guy." I dated a guy in college and when I asked him what we were, he said we were having fun...and CRUISIN'!!! What the heck?!?!

Chelsea girl said...

I love that you're willing to be open and honest about a subject that many won't even talk about. I also love that your views are counter-cultural. Sex is intimate, bonding, and powerful. I hate that we treat it like it's meaningless in our culture. I actually waited until I was married until I had sex, and I couldn't be happier with that decision. It goes with your premise for waiting, but in my opinion, making it until you're with the man of your dreams, the one who is 100% committed to your heart, mind, and body is even better.

The Pink Growl said...

LOVE THIS!!!!! proud of you for this post too - it's not easy to put out there. But you are so right! We are worth the wait!

Heidi Knepper said...

I love this post, I am sharing it with both of my daughters!!

Jane said...

Amen!! I spent so long thinking I wasn't worth it but we all are and it makes me so sad when women don't think they are or have to give it up for someone not worth a damn.

Miss Angie said...

A month ago I might have stopped to question you and say "those guys just don't actually seem to exist." I mean a few months ago a guy stopped seeing me (d-bag just stopped calling or anything) when I wouldn't booty call him after the third date.

However, I've very recently had my faith restored. I was seeing this guy in November where we dated for a month but never slept together (despite my trying) and then he ended things (in a very gentlemanly way-there were other contributing factors but he was very kind, and did it face to face-bonus points)-long story short he recently showed up in my life again and when we finally got to that point he said "some things are just worth the wait" and wow. I'm impressed. Faith restored.


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