4.09.2014

stop settling

via


Recently a girl reached out to me about her long term relationship and some issues she was dealing with. I felt honored that she respected my thoughts enough to want my opinion on everything....and then it got me thinking. This wasn't the first time I have had this talk with other girls. Hey, I even went through this exact feeling in my last relationship. Its something that I know is VERY hard to admit, not just to others but to yourself....and I hope in writing this and being open about it everyone who may be experiencing the same thing can find solace in the fact that you're not alone.

I have always been in love with love. Falling in love, being in love. Its one of, if not- is the best feeling in the world. Its a certain feeling you only feel with a select few. When your whole body is filled with butterflies and your stomach is constantly tied in knots. When just the mere touch of their hand on your shoulder runs tingles up and down your spine. Just the thought of them makes your body feel warm and your face light up. All you can think about is them. It's like you're living in a dream.

Love can be the most exciting thing in the world. But it can also be the scariest thing in the world. Being that open and vulnerable with someone. Its terrifying. Especially if you have been hurt before in the past.

I've told you before how I stopped believing in love after my last serious relationship. I just didn't think it existed anymore. I use to believe in soul mates. I really did think there was that one person out there for you and some how God was going to bring that person into your life. But here's where things went off track for me.....I knew the guy in my last relationship wasn't the one I was suppose to be with, yet I stayed with him..& put up a happy front. Why I chose to stay as long as I did, is something I still deal with. I knew deep down inside he wasn't the one for me. He wasn't my soulmate. I wasn't even in love with him. Sure I loved him as a person, as my best friend but I didn't have any of those crazy out of control feelings you experience when you're really in love. I mean, I did at first. Maybe the first few months of our relationship but even then things started out really shitty and I think the feelings were more one sided on my part than him.

Now I know those crazy feelings you feel in the beginning do not last forever. I get that. But it had gotten to a point where I didn't even want to kiss him. I didn't even want him to hug me. It just felt wrong. That can't be love....to not even want to kiss. And here I was staying with him, doing everything for him and for our relationship. But why? Why was I so content on making this thing work, when I knew in my gut he wasn't the one. My gut would scream at me..."kelly! he's not the one! what are you doing?! this is wrong and you know it!"

But I chose to ignore it. I made the intentional choice to ignore what my gut was telling me. I would try to justify it with stupid excuses. I was a fucking idiot to say the least. I wasted so much time with someone who never should've had me to begin with.

I realized I was staying in this relationship because it was comfortable. It felt safe. I told myself I rather be with him than get hurt again.

What the fuck was I thinking?

When I really sat down and thought about why I was trying to make it work with this person I knew the answer behind it. I was scared of being single. I was scared of dating shitty guys again and getting hurt. I was scared of being alone. I was basically risking true love and happiness because I was a fucking pussy. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. So I stayed in a relationship way longer than I should've and wasted my time.

However, there is a happy ending as you know....one day it just clicked. That was it. I wasn't going to settle anymore. I wasn't going to try and make this so called "relationship" work. I didn't love this person. This person clearly didn't love me....and did not deserve me. I was done being scared. I wasn't going to let the single life scare me anymore. I realized that I rather be alone and happy then to settle.

So I ended it. I finally did it. It was actually one of the most freeing days in my life. I knew I made the right choice. Thats what happens when you listen to your gut. All of a sudden everything in the world seems right again. There isn't that one thing weighing you down anymore. You're free.

Im telling you this because I know some of you are in the same situation right now and I want you to listen to your gut. Don't settle for good when you can have great. You know the truth deep down. Don't push it aside like I did.

Now the single life as I have expressed many times before has been intense. Dating is harder than ever....& the first few months of being single were hard...BUT it was better than being with him. I never once regretted my decision. And now as it inches towards almost a year since its been over....i am ready to love again. Of course I'm scared shitless to put myself out there and to fall in love....but I have started believing in love again and that feels good. I've learned so much over this past year and I finally feel confident in myself that I won't be settling for anything short of the best. Its going to be scary and there will always be ups & downs...but as How I Met Your Mother said it -


Loves the best thing we do. 





 photo signature_zpsc196524e.png


51 comments:

Tori Baldridge said...

Amen amen amen! I agree with this whole heartedly. I'm in love with love, too, and its sad to know that so many people feel like they need to be in a relationship, any relationship, rather than be single. Find the right person, no matter how challenging it may seem. Preech sista :) xo

Crystal Addis said...

Great read! LOVED THIS!

Andiepants said...

Thank you so much for sharing! It's true, first you have to love and trust yourself and then just let go of the bad. Otherwise, you won't let all of the good in!!

xoxo
Andie's Traveling Pants

Unknown said...

Dear, I found your blog randomly and I’d like to say it’s fabulous! I really like your amazing photos & style! Everything is perfect!

would you like to follow each other?
will be happy if you'll find a minute to see my blog!

www.dianacloudlet.com

John said...

uggs outlet
tods outlet
louis vuitton outlet
abercrombie
louis vuitton handbags
tiffany and co
michael kors outlet online
replica watches for sale
gucci shoes
kobe bryant shoes
jordan 11
coach outlet store online
michael kors outlet
adidas originals
canada goose jackets
abercrombie and fitch
louboutin pas cher
ugg boots
louis vuitton bags
ugg australia
jordan concords
lebron 12
coach outlet online
lebron james shoes
jordan retro
canada goose outlet
michael kors outlet
uggs clearance sale outlet
ugg boots
louis vuitton
coach outlet
air max 90
20151207yuanyuan

Anonymous said...

toms shoes
coach outlet online
adidas outlet store
cheap soccer jerseys
burberry outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
dior outlet
reebok trainers
rolex uk
oakley sunglasses
michael kors handbags wholesale
links of london
lululemon outlet online
ralph lauren polo
cheap nhl jerseys
nike air force 1
coach outlet store
oakley sunglasses
true religion outlet
ray ban sunglasses
fitflops outlet
chrome hearts outlet
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
prada outlet
fitflops sale clearance
tory burch outlet
chrome hearts outlet
true religion outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
coach outlet store
tiffany jewellery
20160524zhenhong

Unknown said...

asics running shoes
louis vuitton outlet
ugg boots
canada goose outlet
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
hogan scarpe
nike outlet store
lebron james shoes
kate spade outlet
adidas yeezy
fitflops uk
cheap ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
nike nfl jerseys
ralph lauren
coach outlet store online
kate spade handbags
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet
michael kors purses
ugg outlet
coach factory outlet
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
canada goose outlet
oklahoma city thunder jerseys
christian louboutin sale
retro jordans
adidas shoes
coach outlet
true religion outlet
cheap jerseys
coach outlet
ugg canada
christian louboutin outlet
adidas originals
jordan concords
gucci outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
ugg canada
20168.24wengdongdong

Unknown said...

uggs sale
michael kors outlet
true religion jeans
canada goose uk
raybans
ugg boots canada
christian louboutin shoes
michael kors outlet clearance
ugg boots
louis vuitton handbags
2016108caiyan

Unknown said...

sac longchamp
north face jackets
mulberry outlet
michael kors uk outlet
ralph lauren
coach factory outlet
adidas wings
mbt shoes outlet
louis vuitton replica
ralph lauren femme
20161114caihuali

nicova said...

I like visit this website and this is very informative for me iwill visit this website again.This website is really very usefull
starfall | barney | abcya | minecraft games

Unknown said...

coach factory outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors outlet online
fitflops
nike store
longchamp bags
kate spade handbags
nike huarache
air max
polo ralph lauren outlet
20170117

Unknown said...

rolex watches
gucci outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
gucci outlet
michael kors outlet stores
louis vuitton outlet
tory burch shoes
louis vuitton uk
ralph lauren shirts
lebron james shoes
chanyuan2017.02.18

Unknown said...

yeezy boost
links of london sale
new england patriots jersey
air jordan
atlanta falcons jersey
michael kors outlet online
adidas nmd runner
adidas tubular sale
links of london
longchamp

Unknown said...

coach outlet
coach factory outlet
bengals jersey
cheap oakley sunglasses
cheap michael kors handbags
cheap nike shoes
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
san francisco 49ers jerseys

Unknown said...

20170402 leilei3915
ray ban sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet clearance
cheap mlb jerseys
michael kors outlet
coach outlet
nike outlet
polo outlet

Unknown said...

Coach factory Outlet Store
Ray Ban Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Store
Coach Handbags Outlet
Oakley Sunglasses Outlet
Coach Outlet Store
Moncler Jackets
Fitflop Shoes
Prada Outlet Store
Coach Factory Outlet

kimberlyjames said...

You will certainly logdown.com be surprised to know that Check this Website we have actually prepared it Installation of Snaptube on iPhone & PC (Android APK) for Free of Cost as well as PC which Snaptube Download allows the customer to download the YouTube videos Snaptube and install with capability.

Unknown said...

cheap jordan shoes
michael kors outlet online
coach outlet
coach outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet online
michael kors outlet
kobe shoes
fitflops sale clearance
birkenstock shoes
20170616lck

Unknown said...

ray ban sunglasses
true religion jeans
canada goose outlet
michael kors outlet
oakley sunglasses
longchamp handbags
coach factory outlet
mulberry outlet
michael kors bags
nike shoes
20170704caihuali

shermanharrison said...

Download and install the mobdro apk strikingly.com/ for your android smart device by Know More adhering to the below provided Direct Mobdro Download Guide on Android PC steps.First download the mobdro Download Mobdro apk for android using our provided Mobdro for Android energetic download web links.

Unknown said...

jordan shoes
michael kors handbags
houston texans jerseys
ralph lauren polo
kate spade sale
hugo boss suits
nike shoes
detroit lions jerseys
nike huarache
louboutin shoes

spencermeyer said...

synthetic patchwork that's cozy down greatwebsitebuilder.com/ to concerning freezing and,Official Website in an unique remedy, an inflatable June 2017 Best Sleeping Bags Initial signs were positive. I pumped up the bed mattress.

Unknown said...

the most effective child walkers wattpad.com/ you could offer your child due to the fact that it has Title impressive functions that simply make them execute Introduction to the best Baby Walker Review their steps yet likewise delight in.

Unknown said...

yeezy boost 350
tom ford eyewear
lebron 14 shoes
michael kors purses
yeezy boost 350 v2
yeezy boost
nike roshe run
curry shoes
gucci belt
golden goose

sabahhassan said...

Professional In Staffordshire

Industrial and business specialist cleansing services. After I first… The three stars is all for Zach who did an important job on my home every time he got here. Stylist and private shopper Jessie Freschl takes closet-organizing to a new level. The best factor to do is research how a lot your local competitors is charging, then both discover a approach to make your service stand out in some manner شركة تنظيف واجهات زجاج بالرياض, or charge much less so that you appeal to new clientele. Simply name us at the moment and revel in the very best industrial cleansing CCS has to offer! Bonnet cleansing uses something a lot more . Feedback, Reviews, Testimonials, All Services, Lambert Cleaning Service, Cleaning, Primary, Carpets, Windows, Move Out Cleaning. Cleansing companies charge clients for their شركة تنظيف سجاد موكيت بالرياض companies in quite a lot of methods. Do reassure them that you simply will not leave them within the lurch though--some In my view they're the very best cleaning company in the space and deliver a service that's reliable, reliable, and of a really excessive normal. While there could also صيانة مسابح بالرياض be limits on what the corporate can do, you should not hesitate to ask for added companies when needed or to to tackle this very physical work for a residing. The Maid Co. delivers skilled cleansing companies for home and residential cleaning options. LynneJean cleansing understands that businesses and workplaces شركة تنظيف بالامارات run much more easily if the environment is clean and wholesome. Coit made the very high of our listing for its standout customer service, wide range of offerings and a company skilled in connecting clients with totally-vetted, experienced cleansing swept, mopped, and nonetheless had cobwebs. Professional cleansing services come into a house شركة تنظيف منازل شرق الرياض and take away the particles that make folks feel unwell, making living at dwelling extra comfy and more healthy. The HCS company headquarters stays positioned in Phoenix, Arizona with regional offices in Aspen, Denver, Hilton Head, Kansas City شركات تنظيف بالرياض رخيصه, Los Angeles, Nashville, Orlando, Palm Springs, Salt Lake Metropolis, San Diego, Sedona, and Tucson. The Even in the event you're aware, spending hours cleaning is simply an inefficient use of your time (unless you are knowledgeable cleaner). Take your time and get the identify just right, you'll have to dwell with شركة تنظيف الخزانات بالرياض your cleansing business name quite probably for the rest of your life. Our industrial cleaning service supplies you with pristine amenities to do business in

Unknown said...

hermes belt
kyrie irving shoes
yeezy boost 350 v2
nike huarache
adidas shoes
kate spade outlet
adidas yeezy
longchamp
longchamp handbags
yeezy boost 350 v2

Admin said...

razer cortex game booster download

Nu Amoorea said...


This article is interesting and useful. Thank you for sharing. And let me share an article about health that God willing will be very useful. Thank you :)

Cara Mengobati Panu
Obat Penghenti Batuk Berdarah
Biaya dan Efek Samping Operasi Kista Bartholin
Penyebab dan cara Mengatasi jantung Berdebar
Cara Mengobati Lipoma secara Alami
Obat ISPA paling Ampuh
Obat Penghancur Batu Empedu

willamsparker said...

Social media marketing is necessary for the NGO. NGO are really serving the society by providing the best services without any profit motive. they work towards human empowerment and sustainable development.

internet marketing course singapore

Unknown said...

Thank you for the article, hopefully the article you give can be useful.
Penyebab Terjadinya Gondok Beracun
Obat Usus Buntu Terbaik 100% Alami Paling Ampuh
Bahaya Penyakit Prostat
Faktor Penyebab Penyakit Prostat

BobbyArcher said...

fantastic points altogether, you just gained a brand new reader. What would you suggest about your post that you made a few days ago? Any positive? website development Singapore

Unknown said...

I thank you for your site which is very helpful.

Gejala Kanker Darah Stadium Awal
Bahan Kimia Penyebab Kanker Darah Anak
Penyebab Kanker Darah Pada Anak Balita
Kanker Darah Dapat Disembuhkan

JaredGarcia said...

Well I truly liked studying it. This tip procured by you is very effective for correct planning. sem digital marketing

Unknown said...

Brief but very precise info? Many thanks for sharing this one.
Obat Plak Pembuluh Darah paling resep dokter
Obat Alternatif Plak Pembuluh Darah Yang Paling Ampuh
Cara Cepat Menyembuhkan Sesak Nafas Karena Asam Lambung

walatraherbal07 said...

An information that is always enjoyed by many visitors.
Benjolan Di Ketiak Saat Hamil

Zenal Abidin said...

we are here only sharing information, hopefully useful

Infeksi Paru-Paru Menular Atau Tidak ?
Khasiat Buah Jambu Biji Untuk Penderita Diabetes
Tanaman Obat Penyakit Malaria

RafaelKlimek said...

And if you think about it, the whole reason behind putting telescopes such as the Hubble into space is to alleviate the issues of atmosphere distortion.

digital marketing services

Unknown said...

This article is very interesting. thank you for allowing me to comment
Tanda Dan Gejala Infeksi Paru Paru Pada Anak
Tanda Dan Gejala Penyakit TBC Pada Anak
Cara Menurunkan Kolesterol Tinggi Dengan Bawang Putih
Pantangan Makanan Bagi Penderita Gondok
Pengobatan Alami Ablasio Retina Tanpa Operasi

Ethan Willson said...

The Voice Winner 2018
The Voice Usa
The Voice Season 15
The Voice 2018 Winner

I like this article.I was searching over search engines and found your blog and its really helps thank you so much Happy New Year 2019 Wish

MelvinClark said...

A lot of beauty industry will tell you can't overlap with different products because they want you to stick with their own line.

e-store

WintyWen said...

Also, if you have a blog you are trying to popularize, get in there in social media and talk to people. People do business with those they know, like and trust. Social media is an opportunity to create those bonds quickly.

ppc

picksejeps said...

Apart from this, the heating and cooling system, efficient mechanical support and a high quality infrastructure are also required for designing a corporate data center.

website design

Jensia said...

Great post. I was once checking constantly this weblog and I'm impressed! Extremely useful information specially the closing part :) I maintain such information much. I was once seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and best of luck. my sites:
seo agency singapore

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

I am essentially satisfied with your great work.You put truly extremely supportive data. Keep it up. Continue blogging. Hoping to perusing your following post
search engine marketing

Unknown said...

kd shoes
chrome hearts
moncler sale
michael kors outlet
fila disruptor
rolex replica
off white nike
yeezy shoes
air jordan
air max

Bilibili said...

Yeezy boost
Red Bottom Shoes For Women
Air Jordan Retro 11
Pandora Outlet
Kyrie Irving Shoes
Jordan 11
Yeezy boost 350 v2
Air Max 270
Air Jordan 4
Rodney20190314

Thaj Shapcott said...

Hello would you mind letting me know which web host you're using? I've loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good internet hosting provider at a reasonable price? Cheers, I appreciate it! 10ft lorry rental

Delta Flight Reservation Number said...

Quickbooks Enterprise Support Phone Number
Get Help for all your issues with QuickBooks Enterprise.
Call (888) 802-9333
Call Intuit QuickBooks Online Customer Services Helpline Phone Number USA 1-888-802-9333 to fix your Accounting Issues.
QuickBooks Technical Support Contact Team Will fixes your issue Enterprises,
Payroll, Pro, Premier, Vat, Bank Errors etc , QuickBooks Online Support Number 1-888-802-9333 USA

Vincent Maxin said...

Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers? I'd certainly appreciate it.
discover relevant long-tail keywords

MosteroJitse said...

Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog site is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would definitely benefit from a lot of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Appreciate it!
international conferences singapore

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...