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It’s not the most attractive feeling in the world, but jealousy can take over our lives if we aren’t careful and don’t deal with it when it comes up. Whether it’s a colleague getting a promotion at work, or your best friend getting engaged when you’ve been steadfastly single for years, jealousy is an emotion that can poison even the most solid of relationships. But, if you follow some simple guidelines, you can stop it from ruining things for both you and whoever you are envious of.
Acknowledge why you feel that way
Let’s be honest here, we don’t feel jealous if everything is going completely fine. If you’re feeling jealous, then it’s time to take a good hard look in the mirror, and ask yourself why you feel that way. It’s equally important to be truthful with your answer. If it’s your work friend who got chosen for a promotion over you, did they deserve it more? Have they been putting in extra hours recently? Spending time with your manager? Taking on additional responsibilities? Have you been doing those things? Ask yourself the question, and then don’t avoid the truthful answer.
If you really can’t think of anything else then you can ask an external source. If it’s a work issue, speak with your manager. If it’s something outside of work, then find a trusted friend or family member outside of the situation who you can be totally transparent with and lay out the facts (this is really important - if you’re going to hold back on information that’s key then this will be a waste of time). From an outside perspective, they might be able to see things that you’ve missed.
Can you fix it?
Once you’ve identified the problem, you then need to address whether it’s something you can act on. Whether it’s looking into Jeuveau Newtox for yourself, or booking your own fancy holiday, if you’re jealous of someone else’s lifestyle, is there something you can do about changing your own?
Don’t blame your friend
Whoever it is that you’re jealous of, remember it’s not their fault you feel like this. You might be feeling all sorts of things inside, but don’t take it out on your friend, partner, or family member. Instead, you need to try to be happy for them. Remember that jealousy is actually a very natural feeling - it’s perfectly normal to want what other people have, but it’s how we deal with it and act (or not) on those feelings that makes us the better person.
Identify your triggers
Jealousy often stems from a feeling of insecurity, so try and pinpoint what the negative, inner critic is telling you and then shut it down. For example, if you’re the only single one left amongst your friends and are feeling jealous of an engagement, is it because your inner voice is telling you that you aren’t loveable? Try and talk to yourself like you’d talk to your own best friend and be kinder to yourself.
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