5.31.2020

Why We Should Forgive People When They Hurt Us

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Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes we are perfectly happy, and everything seems to be going our way. We have a fantastic person by our side and are creating happy memories that we feel will last for a lifetime. Suddenly, something comes out of the blue, and we feel hurt, let down and can’t see a way to get back to a happy way of life. 

Human beings need companionship, and so it’s not a surprise that we create very close bonds to other people. We fall in love, and over time this becomes our normal. It is like we have our own world and everything in it is connected and beautiful. Unfortunately, this means that we attribute quite a lot of our happiness and sadness to someone else. In loving another person, we give them the key to our hearts and our souls. This can lead to pain so deep that we feel like we can no longer go on. Maybe we become angry and bitter that we were mistreated. Our lives standstill because we simply cannot move past the pain. 

One thing that everyone needs to remember is that the most important person in our lives is us. You are the only person that can dictate your future and the one person that can make you happy. If you don’t feel this, if you can’t be satisfied on your own, then you will end believing that the person you are with, makes you happy. If they hurt you, you will think that you cannot be happy again. 

There are many quotes such as ‘forgive but never forget’ and while you should always be wary of reading quotes in black and white, cliches like this are cliches for a reason. 

Forgiveness is essential when it comes to self-love and personal and spiritual growth. No matter how much someone hurts us with their actions or lets us down with their behavior, it is the inability to forgive them that creates a dangerous emotional state where we cannot find happiness. You are not responsible for another person's actions, and they are not responsible for your happiness. You have the power to forgive, to move on and to be content and happy with your life. 

It isn't always easy though is it? To forgive? Especially if your trust has been betrayed by someone that you loved and believed in. Hurt can swoop in, and while it is an emotional pain, it kicks off the same fight or flight receptors in our brains that physical pain does. This is why many people who have had their heart broken feel so awful. Because their brain perceives it as physical pain, it’s then tough to imagine feeling better. You can’t watch a wound heal, and you can’t treat it with medicine until it gets better. You just have to take each day as it comes and try to live around how you feel. 

When someone hurts you, unless they have severe mental issues, it is highly unlikely that they wanted you to feel these feelings. Even in a situation where your partner has been lying to you about an affair for years, as crushing and cruel as that is, they may have been so desperate not to hurt you that they simply couldn’t leave. When you hurt, instead of focussing on how unfair the situation is, it can help if you try to work out why and how this person you loved so much would do this. This will help you to grow as a human and may prevent a similar situation from happening in your life again. 

Forgiving is easier for some people than others. Do some research and find out what kind of person you are. Look at your spiritual self too. How do you forgive based on your zodiac profile? Maybe there is a reason you find it harder to forgive than other people. Perhaps there is something that happened in your past which makes this seem so unforgivable. 

It is an excellent time to seek counseling. I personally, love counseling and being able to have a outside perspective. Gong to counseling can help you understand the complicated reasons behind your pain. It will also help you to find the strength to forgive the person that has wronged you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean taking them back. It means letting go of their actions and understanding that you don’t need to be defined by your pain. 

If you can find a way of forgiving someone, you will let go of all the negative feelings inside and walk towards a happier, healthy life.


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