12.12.2012

oops....I did it again

As stated in Websters Dictionary a bully or someone who bullies is defined as - 
Bully: 
1   : to treat abusively
2
: to affect by means of force or cruelty 
Bullies:
a: blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker
Cyber-bulling:
: the electronic posting of mean-spirited messages about a person often done anonymously

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so you're probably wondering why I am stating the definitions of a bully. Well its because the word "bully" has become a buzz word or the 'it' word around here in blogland. It seems to be thrown around like an old pair of underwear, when most of the time the word shouldn't even be used. 

Bullying is a serious thing. It is something that I had to deal with throughout  school & something that has gotten even worse. 

So it really bothers me when I see bloggers calling other bloggers bullies. I actually find it funny because if you only knew the real definition of a bully. 


When I was bullied I was sent threat letters, got threatening calls. I had to eat lunch in teachers classrooms to prevent from the older kids coming up to me & backing me into a wall scaring me to shit saying their going to beat me up....for doing nothing. 

Things were thrown at me, scary notes were put in my backpack. Everywhere I went people looked at me and stared. I was scared to go to school. Every morning when I was dropped off I made my dad wait in the car & watch me until the bell rang so nothing would happen to me. And sadly, that isn't even as bad as it can be compared to some stories I have heard over the years.


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It seems that in a mans world sticking up for yourself & being a strong man is admired. But when a woman does it with a little force all the girls are so ready to get their claws out & call her a bully or a mean girl. So explain to me why standing up for yourself & your blog makes you a bully?  



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Most of us serious bloggers put all our sweat & tears into our blogs. They're our babies. We are proud of them. So when something is so easily copied or duplicated that you worked SO hard on, why is it so wrong to speak up & say something? Do you just expect us to sit there like sheep?


Maybe some of you live that way, but I do not. I have never been a sheep. When I think something isn't right you better believe your ass I'm going to speak up. 


Does that make me a bitch? Maybe.


A bully? Fuck no. 


It's almost an insult to all the people who have actually been bullied in life to be using this word so loosely.
 
You can't even discuss anything anymore without someone assuming you're attacking them. 


I do believe that us bloggers should support each other but lets also have respect & consideration to each others designs & creatively. 


Try to be original. 


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28 comments:

Jennifer said...

I definitely don't think that makes anyone a bully. I am so sorry for what you dealt with in school. OMG. I feel like I was bullied in ways but never beaten up or to that extent. I was picked on a lot for being a goody two shoes or the white girl.

I also cannot stand when people throw around the word rape like oh that test just raped me. NO IT DIDN'T! People get upset when I tell them that isn't a word to just go throwing around like it's funny.

Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaos said...

Good for you, Kelly! I have to admit, I'm a little scared of you right now. I peed my pants a little when you dropped the F bomb. Hehehe. Just kidding and trying to make you smile! :)

You are absolutely right, the blogland is such a BIG place, and there's room for all kinds of ideas and creativity, but we should all SUPPORT each other - not try to steal from each other or tear others down. It's sad. :(

But I think you're awesome and your blog, too! Ever since I've "met" you, you have been nothing but sweet and supportive to me and so many other bloggers. You rock!!

Christine said...

Many people don't realize what bullying actually is. I have a bullying story as well and I wouldn't wish those years even on the people who treated me terribly. The blog community is supposed to be a place of acceptance and expression. For someone to take advantage of it or someone in it is wrong. And standing up for it is far from bullying. It's standing up for something you believe in and have worked hard for. For someone to use that word for something positive makes my blood boil. They obviously have not experienced what bullying really is. I'm sorry you've had to deal with what has been going on.

~Christine

Illegally Blonde said...

It's funny because being involved in the pageant world like I am, a lot of the girl have bullying as their platform issues. I have been amazed at the stories my titleholders share about being bullied or intimidated and by other girls! Its gross.

Women can be the worst! I think we should have more of a blogging sisterhood and support each other and be good role models for young girls and women who follow us. Thanks for sharing! And I've got your back.

The Pink Growl said...

I really hate that all this bullshit goes on! I got your back sister! Love you!

Courtney said...

Great post! There is lots of bullying in blog land but standing up for yourself is definitely not being a bully!

mary @ trusty chucks said...

As a public school teacher, unfortunately, I have to deal with bullying every day. And I think it has gotten worse. Sorry you felt bullied in school, that never leaves you--good post and more power to ya, sister! :)

P!nky said...

I totally agree, people just throw bullying around without really knowing what it means.

Call people haters before you call them bullies. If you say something once that's not nice, that is SO not bullying.

Constantly harrassing someone, yep that's bullying.

Not sure WHAT the issue is, but good for you for standing up for yourself. I admire that!

I maybe be all pink and rainbows, but I've got your back girl!

xoxo

Kelly Ann said...

This is a great post, I love when people blog about something real!

xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes

LWLH said...

I've just started reading your blog but AMEN SISTA!!!
I haven't been bullied in blog land but in real life and to see the term thrown around so loosely aggravates the shit out of me.

Someone doesn't like your blog. Boo hoo. Your not being bullied. Now if that anonymous commenter came to your house or started prank calling you then there is an issue. If being bullied as a child gave me anything, it gave me thick skin and I'm not going to let some bitch behind a blog get to me that easily.

Thanks for sharing this girl :)

Jen said...

I love this post...just makes me angry that there is so much bullying still going on.

Michael Z said...

I'm fortunate enough to say that I was never, and have never been bullied. I know for a lot of other people that's just not the case. I think there's a big difference between asserting yourself and being an asshole to someone.

LWLH "some bitch behind a blog" LMAO Love that.

Niki Caron said...

If that makes us bitches for not liking being literally stolen from (copying intellectual property IS stealing), then so be it. I'm a bitch. Like you said, I work SO HARD so when my creative content is stolen from me, it makes me mad. I don't think it's bullying to put it out there that I'm upset because I was blatantly ripped off - not once, not even twice - by the same person. This seems to coincide so perfectly with that statement I made Monday actually - now I'm wondering if I'm missing some backlash lol.

Niki Caron said...

Oh gosh, and PS - that is horrible what you went through. I was bullied too and I would never wish it on anybody.

Kate - Classy Living said...

AMEN! I recently dealt with some blog thieves who tried to steal an original linkup idea - same title and everything. In fact, they still are promoting it as their own creation, which sucks. I totally believe that as bloggers we should stand up for what we believe in! Good for you for doing that. I really admire your stance on this issue :)

And for the record, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you when you were in school. No one should EVER have to deal with that, and it's my goal as a teacher to make sure none of my students are treated that way.

Erin Rethemeyer said...

I have so many emotions reading this. I feel so terribly for your experience being truly bullied. I never knew how your felt; but I was the victim of major verbal mockery in high school, and it sucked. I understand how it feels to be verbally and emotionally hurt.
I completely agree with you, standing up for yourself, for what YOU believe in and what YOU are passionate about is what you should do. You may be a bitch, that would mean I am too; taking a stand for yourself and the things you work SO hard for is your right. Do you girl.
This community is so beautiful but it is sad to see the way some people act. It's all about how you choose to handle it. I am with you 100% on this.
Get your own ideas creepers, and if you don't like it - bug off.
<3

Courtney B said...

Oh gosh... I can't imagine what those years of bullying were like for you. I'm SO sorry you had to endure that!
But I just have to say, there is a certain way to go about things. To stand up for yourself and protect your material is one thing, but HOW you go about it is what makes one come off as a bully or something else. Does that make sense? I'm not saying one should sit back and let people walk all over them... but I know we ALL tend to get a little over protective and come off as a crazy person trying to put that girl who stole the idea in their place. So I do believe some of it can totally come off as bullying. And blog land is that last place in the world we should have to worry about bullying.

B Allen @ What2Wear said...

dang girl you tell em!!!!!!! and honestly i think that some of the "girls" and yes I call them "girls" on the blogosphere have too much time on their hands and thats why they do stupid things. I'm glad you are standing up for yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brooke @ what2wear

Lins said...

You go girl! I was bullied terribly in school. People came wearing pins with IHL (I Hate Lindsay) and it was just awful. I definitely think every woman out there should be confident in who she is and stand up for herself.

I agree with Brooke...sometimes "girls" get catty.

www.domesticatedworkingwoman.blogspot.com

Chelsea Lennox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kim @ wanderlustee.com said...

I agree that people should not be verbatim copying one another in blog world but i also agree with the comment above me. Doesn't seem like there's much that truly original...but something like your Messy Project - I could see how you'd be protective of that.

At the same time, I think it's important to realize that just because you (or anyone) doesn't think that they're bullying someone doesn't mean that that person doesn't feel bullied. I'm speaking from the perspective of a teacher and bullying doesn't have to be the extremes of threatening, physically abusing, etc.

I definitely don't think it makes you a bully for sticking up for yourself but I would consider that bullying can have different degrees.

Heather said...

First of all - who are these monsters that were so mean to you - I will hurt them :) And yeah - I hate copycats... their blogs will eventually fade out - originality is what wins :)

XO
Pearls & Paws

jstaff said...

Good job standing up for yourself Kelly! Unfortunately the Internet makes it easy for people to hide behind their keyboards and harass others as well as blatantly copy the ideas of others. As a photographer I understand the concept that nothing is inherently original and that our ideas evolve from one another, but there is no way that I respect people who steal verbatim from the hard work of an artist. In my world we copyright our images. Maybe you should look into that for your blog. In the meantime, don't forget that jealousy is the root of all evil and that is all that those girls are.....jealous and evil.

Janna Renee said...

I actually fully agree with Chelsea Lennox about bloggers learning and being inspired by each other. I think that most bloggers take a page out of each other's books and that is perfectly okay and I am flattered that someone would be inspired by my blog. HOWEVER, if they copy you, don't ask permission, and/or pass it off as their own- IT IS WRONG. Good for you for standing up. You know I've got your back ;)

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